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          …Michelle Obama Spotted Sneaking Vegetables Into Sleeping Kids’ Mouths…
          …Scientists Discover A Lot Of Cool Junk In Older Brother’s Room…
          …Most Rocks Are Walnuts…
          …Rest Of Maroon 5 Probably Has Names…
          …It’s Cool To Wear Organs On The Outside Now…
          …Hitler Pleads With Time Travelers To Stop Killing Him…
          …6 Year Online Romance Ends In Weird Handshake…
          …Gordon Ramsay Signed Beef Wellington Sells For 1.6 Million…
          …Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
          …Horrible Man Drives Wonderful Car…
          …Man Experiences The Miracle Of Flight With Powerful Bidet Toilet Attachment…
          …Dollars to donuts exchange crashing…
          …Half The World’s Bees Have Never Seen The Show Seinfeld…
          …Best Way To Get Rich: Finding Bag Of Money In Woods…
          …Children May Be Stupider And Weaker Than Previously Thought…
          …California Bans Genetically Modified Farmers…
          …Opinion: We’re In A Golden Age Of Trash Talking…
          …Thing Assumed To Be Chocolate-Filled Turns Out To Be Blueberry-Filled…
          …Shazaam not a real movie…Google it…
          …Picture Now Worth About 40 Words…
          …Community Garden Offers Free, Gross Vegetables To Neighborhood…
          …Help, I’m Trapped In A Headline Writing Factory. Details To Follow…
          …Woman Totally Okay With Turning 23…
          …’Glow Up’ Discovered To Just Be DBZ Reference…
          …No One Looks Good In Jeans…
          …Devastating New Documentary Changes Nothing…
          …Thinking Outside The Box Leads To Unimaginable Sorrow…
          …Overweight Hipster Dieting Ironically…
          …Don’t Forget To Grab Milk…
          …Man Who Bought Tampons For Girlfriend Expected More Fawning…
          …Mother Struggles To Explain Scott Baio To Her Child…
          …Mayor Doesn’t Declare Opposite Day…
          …60-Year-Old Man Doesn’t Feel A Day Over 58…
          …Opinion: I Have The Best Smile And Coolest Personality …
          …Man Finds Mannequin Far Too Attractive…
          …Confirmed: Everyone is hanging out without you…
          …Santa is real, and he lives in your crawl space….
          …Trail Mix Sustains Man For Journey To, From Trail Mix Bowl…
          …Little Bits Of Paper Left On Starburst Counts As Fiber…
          …A New Generation Of Turtles Are Learning Martial Arts…
          …According to studies accordions are unsteady…
          …Prophecies Of Nostradamus’ Page-A-Day Calendar Ends On March 9th…
          …Fourth grade teacher found to be not as hot as you remember…
          …Ambitious Widower Gets Stages Of Grief Down To Four…
          …Fancy Teens Start Garage Orchestra…
          …Girl Scouts Unveil Four New Flavors Of E-Juice…
          …Fun Run Isn’t…
          …Dems Vow To See Zach Snyder Cut Of Mueller Report Released To Public…
          …Your Dog Might Have A Secret Passport…
          …Tampax Introduces Pink-Colored Products Just For Women…
          …Lady In Old House In Neighborhood Not Witch, Just Regular Murderer…
          …Everyone In Hardware Store Clearly Planning A Murder…
          …Kid Rock Now Available In Menthol…
          …RC Cola Secret Recipe Kept In Open Shoebox In Headquarters Lobby…
          …Blood Drive Cookie Tastes Like Blood…
          …Scientists Discover That Human Body Is Disgusting…
          …KFC Secret Recipe Has Been Inside You All Along…
          …Dip Can Be Eaten Without Chips…
          …Netflix Adds Fifth Movie…
          …Gap Year Spent Working At The Gap…
          …70 Percent Of Americans Don’t Get Enough Sheep…
          …Below Surface, Small Town Exactly What It Seems…
          …Bunny Ears wins prestigious Bunny Ears website of the year award at the Bunny Ears Awards…

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